Overcoming Your Confidence Challenges

Shutting Down the Inner Critic and Unleashing Your Awesome

Ever feel like a fraud, like everyone’s going to find out you’re just faking it ’til you make it? You’re not alone. That nagging feeling, that little voice whispering doubts in your ear, is imposter syndrome, and it’s incredibly common. In fact, studies suggest that around 70% of us experience it at some point. So, if you’re battling these feelings, take a deep breath and know you’re in good company.

Imposter syndrome can really hold us back. It makes us question our achievements, downplay our skills, and live in constant fear of being “exposed.” It can stop us from going after promotions, sharing our ideas, or even enjoying our successes. But here’s the good news: you can overcome it. It’s not about magically becoming confident overnight, but about learning to challenge those negative thoughts and build genuine self-belief.

One of the first steps is understanding what imposter syndrome looks like. It often shows up in a few different ways. Perfectionism is a big one – setting impossibly high standards for yourself and then beating yourself up when you inevitably fall short. Then there’s the “attribution shuffle,” where you credit your successes to luck or good timing, anything but your own skills and hard work. And, of course, there’s the constant fear of being found out, the dread that everyone will suddenly realise you’re not as competent as they think.

So, how do you fight back against this inner critic? Here are some strategies, including some helpful Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques, to help you build confidence and start owning your achievements:

1. Challenge Those Thoughts: This is where CBT comes in. When you notice those imposter syndrome thoughts creeping in (e.g., “I’m not good enough,” “I don’t deserve this”), don’t just accept them. Ask yourself: What evidence supports this thought? What evidence contradicts it? Is there another way to look at this situation? Often, you’ll find that your negative thoughts are based on assumptions, not facts. Try writing down your negative thought and then writing down a more balanced and realistic alternative. For example, if you think “I’m going to mess up this presentation,” you could reframe it as “I’ve prepared well for this presentation, and I’m capable of delivering it effectively. Even if I make a small mistake, it’s not the end of the world.” This process of identifying and challenging negative thoughts is a core component of CBT and can be incredibly powerful in breaking the cycle of self-doubt. Another useful CBT technique is “thought stopping.” When a negative thought pops into your head, consciously say “Stop!” This can help interrupt the flow of negative thinking and give you space to choose a more positive and helpful thought.
2. Celebrate Your Wins (Even the Small Ones!): We’re often so focused on what we haven’t achieved yet that we forget to acknowledge how far we’ve come. Keep a “wins” list – it can be anything from finishing a project to giving a great presentation to simply getting through a tough day. Review this list regularly to remind yourself of your capabilities. This is a great way to combat the attribution shuffle and start recognising your own contributions.
3. Embrace Imperfection: Perfectionism is a breeding ground for imposter syndrome. Let go of the idea that you have to be perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Instead of striving for flawlessness, focus on progress and learning. Think of mistakes as opportunities to grow and improve.
4. Talk It Out: Sharing your feelings with someone you trust – a friend, family member, mentor, or therapist – can be incredibly helpful. They can offer a different perspective and remind you of your strengths. Sometimes, just voicing your fears can take away their power.
5. Remember Your “Why”: Why are you doing what you’re doing? What are your goals and values? Connecting with your purpose can help you stay motivated and focused, even when those imposter syndrome thoughts creep in. When you’re clear on your “why,” it’s easier to brush off the self-doubt and keep moving forward.
6. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself! Treat yourself with the same understanding and support you would offer a friend who was struggling. Imposter syndrome thrives on self-criticism. Learning to be more self-compassionate can help you quiet that inner critic and build resilience. Think about what you would say to a friend in a similar situation. Then, try saying those same kind and supportive words to yourself.
7. Visualise Success: Imagine yourself succeeding in the situations that trigger your imposter syndrome. What does it look like? How does it feel? Visualisation can help you build confidence and reduce anxiety. The more you visualise success, the more likely you are to achieve it.

I remember one time, I was asked to give a presentation to a room full of people. My heart pounded in my chest. The imposter syndrome voice screamed, “You’re going to mess this up! They’re going to see you’re a fraud!” I almost backed out. But then, I remembered my “why” – I was passionate about sharing this information and believed it could make a difference. I used some of the CBT techniques I’ve mentioned – I challenged my negative thoughts, reminding myself of my past successes, and visualised myself delivering a confident presentation. And you know what? It went well. It wasn’t perfect, but it was authentic, and that’s what mattered. Sharing that vulnerable moment with the audience actually created a deeper connection. It reminded me that everyone struggles with self-doubt sometimes, even the “experts.”

Overcoming imposter syndrome is a journey, not a destination. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and remember that you are capable and worthy of success. Don’t let that inner critic hold you back from achieving your dreams. You’ve got this!

If you’re ready to overcome your limiting beliefs and become a successful coach, I encourage you to attend one of our 1-Day Coaching Diplomas to start your coaching journey. For those who want more speaking support, here is the link to our speaking training. It’ll help you to develop a plan to achieve your goals and build a successful coaching business.